How to Raise Siblings Who Stay Close
How to raise close siblings who stay connected as adults: shared fun, fairness kids can see, teaching them to make up, and ideas for every age from 2 to 18.
Siblings: Bonds That Last
Research-based guides for brothers and sisters: raising close siblings, saying what they mean, repairing what broke, and remembering a sibling who died.
Brothers and sisters are often the longest relationship in a person's life. Researchers describe siblings as companions, confidants, combatants and the people we compare ourselves with (opens in a new tab), sometimes all on the same day. These guides help you build that bond, mend it and, when the time comes, keep it going after a loss.
For parents. Start with how to raise siblings who stay close, then what to do about sibling fighting and activities by age. There is help for a new baby, fairness and favoritism, older siblings who carry a lot and siblings of children with disabilities.
For adult brothers and sisters. Tell them what they mean to you, show up for ordinary moments, welcome the in-laws, share the care of your parents and, when something has broken, start to repair it.
After a sibling dies. Keep saying their name and find ways to keep their memory alive. For grief itself, see losing a sibling and the Grief, Loss and Healing guides.
This hub is also the everyday companion to Enduring Bonds, a memoir about siblings by our founder, Faruque Amin, who lost his brother Basir and brother-in-law Afrid in August 2022 and his sister Nasrin in September 2022. If you scanned a code in the book, the Enduring Bonds companion lists every page it links to.
These pages share research and practical ideas. They are not therapy. If you're struggling, call or text 988 any time, and call 911 in an emergency.
Start here
Say It While You Can: Telling Your Siblings What They Mean to You
How to tell your brother or sister what they mean to you: what research says about thank-you letters, prompts, and a short letter to send today.
Showing Up for Your Siblings in Ordinary Moments
How to be there for your brothers and sisters as a busy adult: milestones, small ceremonies, a call or night out, distance, and when it's hard.
How to Repair a Relationship With a Sibling
Steps to repair a strained or estranged sibling relationship: reaching out, what to say, owning your part, old roles, and when distance is safer.
When In-Laws Become Brothers and Sisters
How to welcome a sibling's spouse as a real brother or sister and build your own sibling-in-law bond across families, cultures and awkward moments.
Talking About a Sibling Who Died: Saying Their Name
How to keep talking about a brother or sister who died: answering 'how many siblings?', telling new people and children, and when others go quiet.
More guides
Activities That Build Sibling Bonds, by Age
Sibling bonding activities for every age, from toddlers to adult siblings: teamwork games, shared jobs, traditions, and learning to swim together safely.
Older Siblings as Caregivers: Helping Without Carrying Too Much
Older siblings helping at home: the good it does, signs of too much (parentification), culture and fairness, and why kids never watch kids near water.
Parental Favoritism: How It Affects Siblings
How parental favoritism affects children and adult siblings, why different treatment isn't always unfair, and what parents and grown children can do.
Preparing Your Child for a New Baby Brother or Sister
How to prepare a toddler or older child for a new baby: when to tell them, how to involve them, jealousy and regression, and safe ways to help.
Sibling Rivalry and Fighting: What Parents Can Do
Sibling rivalry is normal, but how you respond matters. When to coach, when to step in, how to be fair, and how to tell everyday fighting from sibling abuse.
Siblings and Aging Parents: Sharing Care Without Falling Out
How adult siblings can share the care of aging parents: a family meeting, tasks split by strengths, old roles, outside help, and staying close.
Supporting Siblings of Children With Disabilities or Serious Illness
How to support siblings of a child with a disability or chronic illness: common feelings, honest information by age, their own time, and peer support.
Ways to Keep a Sibling's Memory Alive
Meaningful ways to honor a brother or sister who died: everyday rituals, keepsakes and projects, service in their name, anniversaries, and including children.
Tools and printables
Interactive tool
Sibling activity ideas
Get activity ideas that bring brothers and sisters closer, by age and time: play together, talk, help each other, or remember a sibling who died.
Interactive tool
Swim lesson finder
Enter a ZIP code to open the official swim lesson finders from the YMCA, Red Cross, USA Swimming, U.S. Masters Swimming and, in NYC, NYC Parks.
Printable
Water Rules for Babysitters
A fill-in sheet to go over with every babysitter, nanny or grandparent: your address for 911, bath rules, hidden water at home, swimming rules and emergencies.
Interactive tool
Memory journal
A private memory journal with gentle prompts for remembering someone who died. Saved only in your browser, never sent anywhere. Download or print it.
Printable
Supporting a Grieving Sibling
A one-page guide for adults helping a child or teen whose sibling died: honest words, listening, remembering together, and when to get more help.
Printable
Memory Journal Prompts
Ten gentle journal prompts for remembering someone you love, naming what you feel, and carrying them with you. For teens, adults and siblings.
Questions and answers
- Sibling Relationships: Your Questions (13 questions)