Preparing Your Child for a New Baby Brother or Sister

The best way to prepare a child for a new baby is to tell them early in simple words, give them a real job, and keep some time that is just theirs. Expect some jealousy and some backsliding. Both are normal, and both pass faster with reassurance than with pressure.

This guide follows the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) advice age by age, and adds one safety rule every family with a baby needs.

When and how to tell them

Match the news to your child's age. The AAP's guide to preparing your older child for a new baby (opens in a new tab) (2026) suggests:

Tips that help at any age:

• Use the baby's future role: "You're going to be a big sister."
• Be honest that babies cry a lot and can't play at first.
• Tell them who will take care of them while you're at the hospital or birthing center.

Involving your child before the birth

Children who help plan feel less pushed aside. The AAP says that involving a preschooler in planning for the baby will make them less jealous (opens in a new tab). Ideas:

• Let them pick one outfit or toy for the baby.
• Look at their own baby photos together and tell stories about when they were born.
• Practice with a doll: holding, gentle touches, quiet voices.
• Have school-age children help get the baby's space ready.

Friendships help too. Researchers at the University of Illinois followed 28 firstborn children from before a sibling's birth into their teens. Children who had more positive play with friends before the baby arrived had better sibling relationships in adolescence (opens in a new tab). Playdates now are practice for being a good sibling later.

The first weeks home

The first weeks are about reassurance. Your older child needs to know they still matter.

• Greet the older child first when you come home, if you can, with empty arms.
• Keep routines like bedtime and meals as steady as possible.
• Make feeding time together time. The AAP suggests letting a preschooler cuddle next to you when you feed the baby (opens in a new tab).
• Let visitors know to say hello to the big brother or sister, too.
• Give school-age kids a role, such as holding the baby. The AAP says they can hold the baby, although they must ask you first (opens in a new tab).

Helping with the baby safely

Older siblings love to help, and they should. But some jobs belong to adults only.

Good jobs for helpers:

• Fetching a diaper, wipes or a burp cloth.
• Singing to the baby or reading a picture book aloud.
• Choosing the baby's outfit for the day.
• Helping at bath time while you are holding the baby. See bath time safety for the full setup.

Praise gentle, helpful moments right away, and specifically: "You were so gentle with her hand."

Jealousy and regression are normal

Even a well-prepared child may hit, whine, or want a bottle again. The AAP says to expect your child to regress a little (opens in a new tab), and instead of pressing them to act older, give them the attention they need. Children over 5 are usually less threatened, but they may still resent the attention the baby gets.

What helps:

• Name the feeling. "It's hard when the baby needs me and you want me too." Researchers who study young siblings say naming the feeling underneath (opens in a new tab) helps children feel heard.
• Allow the feeling, stop the action. "You can feel mad. You can't hit the baby."
• Don't punish regression. Toilet accidents or baby talk usually fade as your child feels secure.
• Watch the comparisons. Avoid "Why can't you be calm like your sister?"

If jealousy turns into rough play or hitting, see what to do about sibling fighting.

One-on-one time with the older child

This may be the single most useful habit. The AAP suggests a one-on-one date (opens in a new tab) with toddlers, special time for preschoolers, and some time alone each day (opens in a new tab) with school-age children. Another AAP page notes that one-on-one time with each child is important too (opens in a new tab), even when family time is going well.

Ten focused minutes counts. Let the older child choose what you do. If you have a partner or relative helping, take turns: one adult with the baby, one with the big kid.

As they grow, these early habits become the base for a close relationship. See how to raise siblings who stay close. If your older child is starting to take on a lot of baby care, read older siblings as caregivers.

What you can do today

• Read one picture book about a new baby brother or sister together.
• Pick one "big kid" job your child can own, like choosing the baby's socks.
• Set a daily ten-minute special time with your older child, and protect it.
• Tell everyone in the house: no child supervises the baby near water, ever.
• Set up a playdate with a friend your child enjoys.
• Say out loud one thing your older child did that was kind or gentle.