Glossary
Sibling grief
Grief after a brother or sister dies. Siblings are often called the forgotten mourners because attention goes to parents.
Sibling grief is the grief a person feels after a brother or sister dies. It is often overlooked. A grief counselor and bereaved sibling writing for The Compassionate Friends (opens in a new tab) says siblings often feel like the forgotten mourners: people ask how their parents are doing, and many siblings put their own grief on hold to care for grieving parents. She also notes that siblings lose the family as they knew it.
What grieving siblings may face, according to the Dougy Center (opens in a new tab):
- the death feels like a before-and-after line in their life;
- some feel survivor guilt;
- children may feel pressure to replace the sibling who died; adults should reassure them they don't have to;
- grieving children still need to be children.
Research shows grieving siblings deserve real support: in the two years after a child's death, surviving siblings had higher rates of mental health conditions than other children (Bolton et al., 2016 (opens in a new tab)). Support helps. The Compassionate Friends welcomes adult siblings, and COPE runs free sibling groups in New York City. Call or text 988 any time if you need to talk. See losing a sibling and how to support a grieving sibling.
What you can do today: ask a grieving sibling how they are doing, not just how their parents are.