How to Talk to Kids About Water Safety Without Scaring Them

The best way to talk to kids about water safety is calmly and often: give them a few short rules, explain the reasons at a level they understand, and practice until the rules are automatic. The goal is a child who loves the water and knows the rules, not a child who is afraid of it.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) describes the balance well. For young children in swim lessons, it says your child should feel safe and secure, but children need to develop a healthy respect for water, as well (opens in a new tab).

Calm beats scary

A rule gives a child something to do. "Ask a grown-up before you go near water" is a clear action a 3-year-old can follow. That is the heart of this approach: teach actions, not fear.

A few principles that run through everything below:

• Say what to do. Try "Walk by the pool" instead of "Don't run or you'll fall in."
• Use the same words every time. Short phrases are easier to remember: Ask first. Grown-up close. Feet first.
• Give the reason, briefly. "The lifeguard has lots of kids to watch, so I watch you too."
• Keep the job clear. Rules are a child's part. Barriers and supervision are the adults' part, at every age. The AAP notes toddlers aren't old enough yet to do what is needed when in trouble (opens in a new tab), and it says never to leave a young child near water in the care of another child (opens in a new tab). A child should never feel it's their job to keep a little brother or sister safe.

Toddlers and preschoolers

At this age, the adults do almost all of the protecting. The AAP's layers for young children are barriers, touch supervision within arm's length (opens in a new tab), swim lessons when ready, and life jackets near natural water. Children can still start learning a few habits.

Rules a little one can learn:

• "Ask a grown-up first." The Red Cross says to teach children to always ask permission to go near water (opens in a new tab).
• "Water time is grown-up time." Bath, pool or beach: a grown-up is right there.
• "Life jacket on by the lake." Make it part of getting ready, like shoes.

How to teach them:

• Bath time practice. Before the bath, ask: "Who's my water grown-up?" Let them point to you.
• Picture cards or a simple song with the same three rules.
• Parent-child swim classes. The AAP says classes that include parents are a good way to introduce water safety habits (opens in a new tab) and begin basic skills like back floating.

Teachers of young children can use our Water Safety Lesson Plan for Grades K-2 lesson plan.

School-age kids

Older children are ready for reasons, skills and responsibility for their own choices.

Explain the why:

• "Lakes and rivers have hidden things under the water." CDC says natural water has hidden hazards such as dangerous currents, rocks, vegetation and limited visibility (opens in a new tab).
• "Lifeguards can't see everyone at once." That's why Pool Safely says parents should still be the Water Watcher even when a lifeguard is present (opens in a new tab).
• "Holding your breath too long can make you pass out." CDC warns that long breath-holding underwater can cause you to pass out and drown (opens in a new tab).

Teach what to do if they fall in. The AAP says lessons should practice falling in and swimming in clothes (opens in a new tab). The YMCA teaches Jump, Push, Turn, Grab (opens in a new tab) for an unexpected fall into water.

Teach how to help. The Red Cross teaches reach or throw, don't go (opens in a new tab). Kids should know that getting an adult and throwing something that floats is the brave choice.

Let them teach you. Ask your child to explain a rule back to you, or to teach it to a younger cousin. It's a quick way to check they understood the reason, not just the words.

Teachers can use our Water Safety Lesson Plan for Grades 3-5 plan or the Red Cross's free Longfellow's WHALE Tales (opens in a new tab) lessons for kindergarten through grade 5. For the full set of skills and rules for this age, see water safety for kids ages 5 to 12.

Children with autism or developmental differences may learn best with visual supports. The AAP suggests visual schedules or social stories to help a child prepare and understand pool rules (opens in a new tab), and the National Autism Association recommends social stories about trusted adults, safe and unsafe places to swim, and never entering water alone (opens in a new tab). See water safety for children with autism.

Practice, games and repetition

Rules learned once can fade by next summer. Short, regular practice keeps them fresh.

• Role-play. "Your ball rolls into the pool. What do you do?" "A friend says, 'Race you to the dock.' What do you say?"
• Dry-land rescue drill. Lay a towel on the floor as "the water." Your child practices reaching with a pool noodle or throwing a pillow, staying on dry land.
• A 30-second check before every outing. In the car: "What are our three water rules?"
• Swim lessons. Lessons build skills and confidence. Look for programs that teach water safety habits as well as strokes; see how to choose a swim lesson program.
• Games. Our free games make practice fun. They collect no personal information, need no account and show no ads.

Finish by writing your family's rules together and signing the Family Water Safety Pledge. For pool rules that stick, see pool rules for kids, and for the beach, teaching kids about ocean safety.

When a child has heard about a drowning

Children hear about drownings on the news, online, at school or in the family. The AAP's advice on talking with children about tragedies fits here:

1. Ask first. The AAP suggests you start by asking what they've already heard (opens in a new tab), then what questions they have and how they feel.
2. Keep it simple and true. Share basic information, not graphic or unnecessary details (opens in a new tab), and keep young children away from repeated images and news coverage.
3. Name the feeling. The AAP's suggested message is: "It's okay if these things bother you. We are here to support each other." (opens in a new tab)
4. Turn worry into action. "Here's what our family does to stay safe," followed by your three rules.
5. Watch for signs. The AAP lists sleep problems, stomachaches or headaches, changes in behavior and unusual fears as signs a child may need more support. If you're concerned, talk with your child's pediatrician or a school counselor.

What you can do today

1. Pick three rules and say them the same way every time this week.
2. Do a two-minute role-play at dinner or bath time.
3. Practice reach or throw on the living room floor.
4. Play one game together and talk about the answers.
5. Write and sign your family pledge, and put it on the fridge.