Glossary
Continuing bonds
Staying connected to a loved one who died through memories, rituals and the ways they still shape your life.
Continuing bonds is the idea that grieving people don't have to cut ties with someone who died. Instead, many stay connected to them through memories, rituals, conversations and the ways the person still shapes their life. Researchers have shown how this applies to siblings: a 2006 study in Death Studies (opens in a new tab) describes how bereaved children keep bonds with a brother or sister who died, and how parents can encourage activities that support those bonds.
Ways families keep bonds alive:
- saying the person's name and telling their stories;
- marking birthdays and anniversaries with a ritual that fits your family and faith;
- keeping a memory box, journal or photo book;
- carrying on something they loved, such as a recipe, a team or a cause.
The Dougy Center (opens in a new tab) suggests letting children and teens help decide how to honor the sibling who died, such as what to do on the anniversary or birthday. Continuing bonds sit alongside living fully: they are a way of carrying love forward, not of staying stuck. See ways to keep a sibling's memory alive, the Memory journal and talking about a sibling who died.
What you can do today: choose one object or story that keeps your loved one close and share it with someone.