Complicated grief

Complicated grief is grief that doesn't ease the way it usually does over time. The National Cancer Institute (opens in a new tab) describes it as grief whose symptoms don't improve and last a long time, cause extreme distress, affect many parts of a person's life, and make it harder to take part in daily activities. Researchers and clinicians have used the term for years; the American Psychiatric Association now uses the diagnosis prolonged grief disorder for a similar pattern.

The NCI notes that grief and depression can share symptoms, such as poor sleep and guilt, but they are different, and that most bereaved people work through grief within 6 months to 2 years. It also notes that a sudden, unexpected loss does not always lead to complicated grief: people with strong self-esteem or a sense of control over their lives often grieve in a normal way even after an unexpected death.

What helps: the NCI reports that cognitive behavioral therapy can help people with complicated grief, and a trial found it worked better than general counseling. Support from others matters too. If you are thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988, or call 911 in an emergency. See when grief doesn't ease and grief support resources.

What you can do today: if your grief feels stuck, ask your doctor for a referral to a grief counselor.