Glossary
Anticipatory grief
Grief that begins before a death, when a loved one is seriously ill or dying.
Anticipatory grief is grief that begins before a death, when someone you love is seriously ill or is expected to die. The National Cancer Institute (opens in a new tab) describes it as grief that occurs leading up to a death, felt by the person who is dying, by their family, or both. It is different from the grief that comes after the death, and it doesn't affect everyone.
What it can feel like:
- sadness, worry or dread about the coming loss;
- grieving the changes already happening, such as a loved one's health, independence or plans for the future;
- feeling guilty for grieving while the person is still alive.
The NCI notes that research found about 1 in 4 patients with incurable cancer feels anticipatory grief, and that it is less likely when the patient and family accept the death. Talking with someone trained in grief and bereavement may help patients and families come to terms with what is coming.
Anticipatory grief doesn't use up grief in advance; people may still grieve deeply after the death. Siblings and children of a seriously ill family member need support too. See supporting siblings of children with disabilities or serious illness and where to find grief support.
What you can do today: if someone you love is seriously ill, ask their care team about family support services.